Meet POTHGA

I was running—the spiritual warfare was unreal. I had that motorcycle accident, my best friend left, and I was repeating this cycle of picking men who I “needed to prove to them I wouldn’t leave,” that I was “safe,” even though they were unsafe. I found out what psychic trauma is all about when my sister was killed. I wanted to numb—it was too much. I thought I was alone and never called on הָהו ְי because I thought I had “gone too far.”

I became addicted to drugs, and my husband was not interested in being sober. I had to leave him. That’s when the rape happened. Then I had the crap beaten out of me. I decided to run—it seemed like the only option I had left.

I was driving down the freeway at 67 mph, talking to my only Christian friend. I cried and mentioned that I felt abandoned by everyone—even הָהו ְי. That’s the moment I experienced a miraculous occurrence. The light was so bright. I closed my eyes—it was like time was My Becoming suspended (I wasn’t driving). I heard a still, small voice say, “I never left you. You left me.” I knew the voice I heard was הָהו ְי. I humbled myself immediately.

He said, “Please don’t do that again.” I knew exactly what I had done. He said, “Don’t argue. You will know when the Day is revealed,” and asked me, “Do you want to die to yourself and live for Him?” I said yes!

Over the next 6–9 weeks, I prayed to Almighty, thanking Him and asking, “Who was I?” The first time He said, “I’m your Father, and you are My daughter.” I thought that was really nice since me my dad and didn’t really have a relationship. But I kept praying because I still felt a little lost. If I died to Sarah (my flesh), I still didn’t know who I was—so I kept on praying.

He came back and said with so much authority, “I am your King, and you are the heir to My kingdom.” I knew exactly in that moment who I was:

P-rincess
O-f
T-he
H-ighest
G-OD
A-lmighty

But I wouldn’t change the journey. Because somewhere after the murder, rape, domestic violence, and even dabbling in false spirituality, El Shaddai met me.

He healed me from suicidal thoughts. He opened my eyes to spiritual warfare—well, maybe I did that, not understanding how dangerous it really is.

One day, I realized I had been giving my joy away. I thought loving people meant allowing abuse. But the Word showed me otherwise. And slowly, I began to rebuild—not just emotionally, but spiritually. I started to see Yahuah as He really is: a Father who runs toward His child.

He taught me the power of boundaries—real, biblical boundaries—through a book by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend that changed everything. I dug in to do the work. I didn’t ever want to be in another situation where I was having the crap beat out of me or staying in a situation because I needed to prove I was lovable.

We all carry church wounds—even pastors and their families. No one is exempt from the enemy’s attacks. But I stopped letting that keep me from the One who heals.